


Turning Over Rocks

by unfolded73



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Captain Book, Gen, Season/Series 06
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-05
Updated: 2016-10-05
Packaged: 2018-08-19 15:52:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,717
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8215465
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unfolded73/pseuds/unfolded73
Summary: More Belle and Killian conversation during 6x02, because we all wanted more.





	

He starts to offer her his flask, gets halfway to holding it out to her, and then he remembers.

“Sorry,” Killian says sheepishly, tucking it away in the pocket of his leather jacket. “Forgot for a moment that you’re with child.”

Belle gives him a smile, pulling herself up to sit on his narrow bunk next to where she’s set her suitcase down. “It’s okay,” she says with a laugh. “You haven’t spent much time around pregnant women, I assume?”

“Indeed not.” He sits in the chair opposite her. “A bit of time around Snow White when she was pregnant with Neal, I suppose.”

Belle cocks her head at him. “Have _you_ ever had a child?”

“Not that I’m aware of,” he says, looking away. So many innocent topics of conversation lead to shame for him, like turning over rocks to find beetles writhing in the loamy soil underneath. “But I haven’t always been… cautious in that regard? Particularly in my early pirating days.” He heaves a sigh. “I suppose I would have outlived any offspring by now, anyway.”

“Would you want to?” Belle’s shoes thunk against the drawers below his bed. She seems starved for this, this simple conversation. This friendship. “Have a child?”

“With Emma?”

That makes Belle laugh again. She’s laughing a little too much, like a woman who is both desperately relieved and trying a little too hard not to fall apart. “No, with Prince Charming. Of course with Emma.”

He runs his hand over his mouth. “I’m not really allowing myself to think that far into the future. And we’ve never discussed it.” 

“I’m sorry, Killian, I’m being nosy.”

“No, it’s fine.” He smiles tentatively at her. “Now that I think about it, I don't really have another friend with whom I can talk about such things. I’m not exactly going to have a heart-to-heart with Dave about whether I should impregnate his daughter.” He slumps down in his chair, putting his feet up on the table. “If I can be something of a father figure to Henry, that would be enough.”

“And I suppose you're still adjusting to just not being dead.”

“Aye.”

“So it worked, I take it? Emma splitting her heart?” Belle asks. “What does that feel like?”

Killian winces. Of course Belle wouldn’t know everything that happened while she was under a sleeping curse, but he isn’t sure he’s ready to talk about it. “The heart split didn’t work, I’d been dead too long.” _A rotting corpse_ , he thinks, pushing away the nightmare images that little detail has inspired since his resurrection. “In the end, Zeus brought me back to life,” he says, leaving out the parts of the story that might make him lose his composure and start weeping like a baby.

Belle’s mouth drops open. “ _Zeus_? Like, the god?”

“The very same.”

“No offense, but why?”

He chuckles. “None taken. Because I helped to defeat Hades while I was still in the Underworld, after everyone else had returned to Storybrooke.” This part of the story he doesn’t mind reliving. “When he told me he was sending me where I belonged, I assumed he meant I was crossing over to … to a better place. But there was a flash of light and when my eyes cleared, the first thing I saw was Emma.”

Belle gives him a wistful smile. “That must have been quite the reunion.”

“It was.” But discussing his love life, even given his and Emma’s recent troubles, is probably doing Belle no favors. He changes the subject. “How was the sleeping curse broken, Belle? How are you awake?”

Her hands stray to her belly. He can’t discern any swell to it yet, but it will only be a matter of time. “Would you believe me if I told you it was true love’s kiss from my unborn son?”

Killian raises an eyebrow. “Should I even ask how?”

“I’m not sure I understand it, and I was there. Suffice it to say, he warned me not to stay with Rumple. That he would destroy this family, just like…” Her eyes cut up to him. “Just like he did his last one.”

Another rock turned over, another wriggling hive of shame exposed to the sunlight. “A large share of the blame for that falls on me.”

“Not as much as falls on him. He murdered his wife rather than see her with another man. He let Baelfire fall alone into a realm without magic rather than give up his power. He lied to me over and over and over again.” She blinks rapidly, and Killian sees tears reflecting on her eyelashes. “I can’t keep making excuses for him.”

Images of Milah’s murder flash through his mind. He’s relived that moment so many times that he hardly knows what’s real and what’s a product of his imagination anymore. The thought of that happening to Belle is unthinkable. 

His heels drop to the floor with a dull thud as he sits up straighter. “You have my word, Belle. I will protect you from him. What happened to Milah won’t happen again. Over my dead body.”

“I think Emma would never forgive me if your dead body was involved.” Belle takes a shaky breath. “All the more reason that I don’t want you risking your life to protect me. This is too risky, given how much he hates you.”

“There’s another reason I suggested you stay aboard this ship,” he admits. “The wood of the _Jolly Roger_ is infused with all manner of enchantments, and one of them is a magic that, so I was told once, subtly muddles the thoughts of the Dark One. It won’t stop him from coming on board, but it will make it less likely that he’ll sense your presence here, even if he’s above decks. If he attempts to search the town for you, it should make you harder to locate.”

“Are you sure it works?”

Remembering the point of Excalibur at his throat, he smiles tightly. “I’ve experienced it firsthand.”

Recognition dawns in Belle’s eyes. “When you were the Dark One yourself?”

“Aye.”

“So why did you duel him here, if you knew the ship would put you at a disadvantage?”

Killian shrugs, relaxing a fraction. “Why did I heal his foot before we fought? Hubris? An attempt at suicide? Even I don’t know who was in control of my mind most of the time, not until the end.”

“When you overcame the darkness.” Belle’s hands twist in her lap. “Something Rumple has never been able to do.”

A flash of guilt for leading the conversation down this path makes Killian cringe. The last thing Belle should be thinking about is the Dark One’s curse, but before he can change the subject, she keeps talking.

“Maybe he could have overcome the darkness if he didn’t sense somehow that I … that maybe deep down I _wanted_ him this way. That I _liked_ it.” Her face is a mask of dawning horror. “After all, I didn’t fall in love with the Rumpelstiltskin from all those many years ago, I fell in love with the Dark One. And now an innocent child could be in danger because of my complacency, my recklessness—”

“Belle, stop!” His voice comes out sharper than he intended, but it halts her mounting agitation. “You aren’t responsible for the Crocodile’s actions, no matter how or why you loved him. His choices are his own.” Belle reaches up and swipes a tear away. “Just … allow me protect you. This is the safest place in Storybrooke for you right now, and I… I need you to let me make amends and protect you. The way I failed to protect Milah.”

He watches Belle pull herself up, her spine ramrod straight, a determined look in her eye. “Okay, on one condition. Don’t let me take you away if you need to be spending time with Emma. The two of you deserve to be together right now, more than ever.”

Looking out the window, he snorts softly. “You’re assuming Emma wants to spend time with me.”

“What?” She laughs, her mouth open wide. “You’ve got to be joking. The woman who followed you into hell doesn’t want to spend time with you? That’s ridiculous.”

Feeling the press of unshed tears behind his eyes, he shakes his head. “Something is happening with her, and she won’t tell me what it is.” The words come out in a rush, and he’s taken aback at what a relief it is to tell someone. “She has these …” He holds his hand out and does his best to imitate what he’s observed. “... tremors in her hand. She tries to hide it, badly, and then she tells me it’s just stress. But I can tell when she’s holding something back. When she’s lying to me.” 

“Has she seen Doctor Whale?”

“No, but she’s been talking to the cricket.”

Belle frowns. “Therapy is good, I’m sure she needs it — probably we all need it. But what if it’s something physical?”

“I’ll speak to her about it again,” he says, already dreading the result of that conversation. He runs his hand over his face. “She doesn't trust me.”

“I'm sure she trusts you. She just doesn't want to worry you.”

He stands and stalks the length of the room in frustration. “I’m worried regardless. If she can’t share her burden with me, after everything we’ve been through—”

Belle approaches him and puts a gentle hand on his elbow, and it’s enough to stop his outburst. “She will. Give her time.”

“I’m sorry, I can’t believe I’m talking about my problems given everything you’re dealing with. Please forgive me.”

“I’d much rather talk about your problems than my own. Like, for example, the fact that I can’t hide on your ship forever. That I’m going to have the child of the most dangerous man in Storybrooke, and how am I going to keep my son safe?” Panic flashes in her eyes as reality sets in.

“We’ll figure it out, love.” He pulls her into his arms, trying to give and draw comfort in equal measure. “One way or another, we’ll figure all of it out.”

Belle shivers, her arms wrapped around his torso and head tucked under his chin. “I hope you’re right, Killian.”


End file.
